Feb 21, 2023

Working on Self-Growth

Now as I get older, I had a wild journey with self-growth but it’s a never-ending journey. With going through so many life changes, I never got a chance to take care of myself properly until crazily..now. I started to appreciate myself more and not be so judgemental of myself whether it’s how I am or how I see myself. Over the years, I learned a few tips to help me in this self-growth journey, and I want to share them with you today. Before we get into that, a quick definition from Berkeley - Well Being Institute:

“Self-growth sometimes referred to as “personal growth” or “personal development,” is a process of developing new skills, attitudes, actions, or reactions that can have a positive impact on your life and increase your overall well-being.”

It's truly amazing how a few changes in your life can make a difference. Some changes can be easy and some can be difficult to adapt to but just putting in the effort is making a difference to me, because you thrive for change, for growth. As said before, I'm going to go through a few tips that help me and they are mostly attitude changes.

A picture showing stones stacked on top of each other on a wooden table

Photo by nicollazzi xiong from Pexels

Accepting who you are

I had a bad habit of comparing myself to other girls growing up. Whether it’s how my face looks, my hair, my body, my personality, or my everything. At 21, I learnt that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. Everyone is made the way they are for a reason…imagine the world if everyone looked the same, it would be awful haha. To be honest, they are days where I may have an issue with myself and I think that is fine, I think it comes with the journey. It’s tricky to look in the mirror but it is the way I started to appreciate myself. It’s not about only looks, just who I am. I’m not like everyone else and that's okay. I learnt that accepting my differences will help me appreciate and love myself.

Accepting your emotions

Ignoring how I feel used to be a pattern for me but it isn’t the best thing to do for self-growth. It seems easy to wear a mask to hide your feelings. Whatever emotion you feel, let it happen and pass. Whether you cry it out, write about it or tell someone about it, it is always good to accept what you feel. As you get older, I think it's even more important to accept how you feel. To me, those feelings will just build up and one day, they will explode and it will be harder to pick those pieces. Never feel ashamed of how you feel, it’s human nature.

A picture of a growing plant in a palm of someone's hand

Photo by Akil Mazumder from Pexels

Try to understand yourself

I think people would appreciate it if people close to them could understand them but that can be tricky. Sometimes, there are things about yourself that only you understand and it can be hard to explain them to others. As I got older, I learnt to appreciate the unique things about myself and learn to understand myself. Understand why I like or don’t like certain things because that just explains who I am as a person. There’s nothing wrong with wanting others to understand you but maybe it’s for the best sometimes and you can spend that time learning and understanding yourself.

Protorize yourself

I had a habit of worrying and making sure others around me are okay before myself. I think it’s because when the people around me are not doing well, it affects me, I believe I can call myself an empath? So I would check up with them and try to make them feel better, but sadly would ignore myself when it comes to my needs or how I feel. I’ve learnt after worrying and caring about the wrong people, that I need to focus more on myself and take care of myself. You can still care and check up on others but it’s important to remember about yourself.

Be present

I have a terrible habit of thinking a bit too much. I would think and worry about the future and think about my past which would just either stress me out or sadden me. Staying present has always been hard for me but I learnt that it’s very helpful when it comes to my busy mind. Staying present can calm your nerves, help with focus and make you appreciate life right now. I try to remain hopeful for the future so I don’t worry so much but focusing on what’s in front of me is the most important thing right now.

So I wanted to write about self-growth for a while since last year because I feel like I’ve reached a point in self-growth to talk about it. Now I’m not perfect, I always working on myself and honestly, I don't think you can even be fully done with self-growth. As I said at the beginning of this, it’s a never-ending journey and you have to maintain your growth or you just fall back to your old ways. I think once you recognise that you want to better yourself, you’re already on the right track, effort should always be celebrated as it probably took a while to reach that stage. I hope that this post is helpful for anyone out there that starting that journey, is in the middle of it or maybe struggling. As usual, I have a few questions for:

How’s your journey with self-growth?
Do you have any other tips on self-growth?

Also, here's a self-assessment tool that measures traits that influence how we deal with life on a day-to-day basis. This tool can be really beneficial in your self-growth journey, check it out!